Dutch greetings and small talk: hello, goodbye and everything in between

Greetings are the first Dutch you'll use and the Dutch you'll use most. They're also where you can make a good impression with very little grammar. This post covers how to say hello at any time of day, how formal to be, what to do with your hands (and cheeks), what to talk about after "hello", and how to say goodbye.

Hello at any time of day

The safest all-purpose greetings are hallo and hoi. Hoi is a bit more informal and very common among friends, colleagues and people your age. Dag works too, and it can mean both hello and goodbye.

For a slightly more polite greeting, choose one based on the time of day:

People often shorten these in speech: Morgen! for good morning, for example. Note that goedenacht is not used as a greeting when you arrive; it's like English "good night".

Combine a greeting with a name or a polite address:

• Goedemorgen, meneer Jansen. — Good morning, Mr Jansen.
• Goedemiddag, mevrouw. — Good afternoon, madam.
• Hoi Sanne! — Hi Sanne!

Je or u?

Dutch has two words for "you": informal je/jij and formal u. The Netherlands is quite informal, and je is normal with friends, family, children, colleagues and people your own age. Use u with strangers who are clearly older than you, in formal situations and with officials. If someone says Zeg maar je ("just say je"), switch to je.

• Hoe gaat het met je? — How are you? (informal)
• Hoe gaat het met u? — How are you? (formal)

When in doubt with a stranger, start with u: it's never rude, and the other person will tell you if it's too formal. Our post on formal and informal you has the details.

Handshakes, hugs and three kisses

Handshakes are the standard when you meet someone for the first time, at work and in formal situations. A firm handshake with eye contact is normal, and people often simply say their name while shaking hands:

• Hallo, ik ben Tom. — Hello, I'm Tom.
• Aangenaam. — Nice to meet you. (a bit formal)
• Leuk je te leren kennen. — Nice to meet you.

The three kisses are for friends and family, not for strangers or business contacts. The custom is three light kisses on the cheeks, alternating sides: in practice it's often more of a cheek-to-cheek touch than a real kiss. You'll see it especially at birthdays, at New Year and when friends haven't seen each other for a while. Between two men a handshake or a hug is more usual. Habits differ by person, family, region and generation, and many people, especially younger ones, hug instead. If you're not sure, let the other person lead, or offer a hand.

How are you?

Hoe gaat het? means "How's it going?". It's a real question, but between acquaintances a short answer is expected:

Other answers you'll hear:

• Heel goed, dank je. — Very well, thanks.
• Niet zo goed. — Not so good.
• Druk, druk, druk! — Busy, busy, busy!

Note met jou (stressed) in En met jou?: you're putting the focus on the other person.

Small talk: the weather, lekker and gezellig

The weather

Dutch weather changes fast, so it's always a safe topic.

• Lekker weertje, hè? — Nice weather, isn't it?
• Wat een regen vandaag! — What a lot of rain today!
• Het is koud. — It's cold.
• Het waait hard. — It's very windy.
• Morgen wordt het warm. — It's going to be warm tomorrow.

Other easy topics: the weekend (Wat ga je dit weekend doen? — What are you doing this weekend?), holidays, work and cycling. Dutch people are usually direct and fairly private, so avoid asking strangers about money.

Lekker

Lekker literally means "tasty", but it's used for anything pleasant:

• Dit is lekker! — This is delicious!
• Lekker geslapen? — Did you sleep well?
• Het is lekker weer. — The weather is nice.
• Lekker! — Great! / Nice! (as a reaction)

Gezellig

Gezellig is the word everybody tells you is "untranslatable". It describes a warm, relaxed, sociable atmosphere: cosy, convivial, fun together. A café can be gezellig, an evening with friends, even a person.

• Het was erg gezellig. — It was really nice. (we had a lovely time)
• Gezellig dat je er bent! — So nice that you're here!
• Wat een gezellig café. — What a cosy café.

Saying goodbye

Doei is very common, even with shop staff in a relaxed setting, but tot ziens is the safe choice when you're unsure. The difference between tot straks and tot zo is time: tot zo means in a few minutes, tot straks later today.

Birthdays: congratulate everyone

Birthdays (verjaardagen) are important in the Netherlands. To the person whose birthday it is, say:

• Gefeliciteerd! — Congratulations! / Happy birthday!
• Gefeliciteerd met je verjaardag! — Happy birthday!
• Van harte gefeliciteerd! — A very happy birthday! (literally "heartily congratulated")

The surprising part for many foreigners: at a birthday party you also congratulate the relatives of the person whose birthday it is.

• Gefeliciteerd met je moeder! — Congratulations on your mother('s birthday)!
• Gefeliciteerd met je zoon! — Congratulations on your son('s birthday)!
• Gefeliciteerd met je vrouw! — Congratulations on your wife('s birthday)!

It sounds odd in English, but it's completely normal in Dutch. You'll learn more about birthday customs in our post on Dutch holidays and traditions.

Quick summary

• Hallo, hoi and dag work all day; goedemorgen, goedemiddag and goedenavond are a bit more polite.
• Use je with friends and peers, u with older strangers and in formal situations.
• Shake hands when you meet someone; three kisses (or a hug) are for friends and family.
• Hoe gaat het? — Goed, en met jou?
• Talk about the weather, and learn lekker and gezellig.
• Say goodbye with doei, dag or tot ziens; tot zo is soon, tot straks is later today.
• At birthdays, congratulate the relatives too: Gefeliciteerd met je moeder!

Practise it

Practise these phrases in Greetings, introduce yourself in Introductions, and get ready for weather small talk in Weather. For more conversation starters, read asking questions.